The day started like any other day. Alarm, snooze button, dragging of oneself though the morning ritual of shower, dressing and breakfast. 

Anyone who knows me well, knows mornings are not my shiniest of moments. Anytime before 9am is still considered nighttime, and if you try and make conversation before my first cup of coffee, I’m likely to just walk away mid sentence after mentally informing you how much I don’t care.

Keeping this in mind, I got into my car (parked on the lawn, conveniently under our security light) and headed to work at 7.15am (an hour and 45minutes before mornings should start). Along the main road I passed a late starting road bicyclist. In my obligatory glance in the rear view mirror, I noticed his odd hand gestures. He also seemed to be yelling at me. I checked my odometer, I wasn’t speeding. Nor was I too close to his lane. Clearly this guy had a case of the morning grumps. I ignored, turned onto another street and carried on. The early birds are crazy in my experiences.

I got to a set of lights. As a car pulled up next to me on my right I did (as is habit) a quick glance and noticed he too was pointing and gesturing. I looked behind me and saw nothing. I locked my doors and gave him the sideways “alright mr insano” eyebrows and concentrated on the radio. Jesus I hate mornings.

 At the next set of lights, the same car pulled up on my right again. This time he was laughing. “What the eff? Is it rag on Jocelyn day or something??” I mentally complain and curse the gods for bringing the town idiots into my life. 

I pull up to the clinic and hop out of the car. As I walk towards the door, I notice a hose right underneath where I’ve parked. Odd, what is that doing here? Who has had the audacity to leave a hose right in my self appointed car park. I didn’t even know we had a hose at the clinic. Huh, I thought to myself. And as I got to that last step and unlocked the door it hit me. Like a shovel to the face.

We don’t have a hose at the clinic, and Infact I am positive that if we did, there is no way it would still be here in the morning. Nope THIS hose, came from my front lawn and I have inadvertently dragged that thing through the town. It was me all along who was the town idiot. Dammit.

Maybe next time I accidentally do this, I might chuck a swerve in and see if I can collect the bicyclist. That way I know for sure that someone has had a worse morning then me. 

Kidding of course.